#ive always been interested in DMing

[boarloved-art]

YOUR ASKS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HELLLLOOOOOOO, ELI. ELI MY DEAREST, MOST BELOVED ARTIST ON TUMBLR. You're literally one of the greatest artists I have ever seen portraying wangxian so perfectly and so beautifully. I could go on and on about my favourite parts of your art, but let me just stick to how much I adore how expressionate you can make the characters, and their noses strangely - just something about them is gorgeous and I cannot stop staring whenever I'm admiring your work. Cannot believe it took me so long to fully interact with your work - I should have been giving it all of the love and attention it deserved the moment I signed up for this accursed website! Thank god I can make up for it by gushing over your fantastic work all the time now, because I think I'd die without that way to just....show my appreciation for your wildly brilliant art and headcanons. So, my dearest Eli [imagine me trying to get down on one knee but then wobbling halfway because I have no balance], will you marry this poor sod who can't deal with your art without wanting to bawl at its beauty every time I see it? You're a genius and you make Tumblr a fantastic experience every time you post. I love you and everything you make <3<3<3 (/p)

HAIII I DIDNT EVEN REALISE THE ASKS WERE OFF UNTIL U MENTIONED IT!!! HELLO DARLING FOUR !!!!!!!!!!

oh my GODDDDDD bro im gonna start weeping im srs !! youre too nice!! too sweet!! & im so glad my fave things to draw r also hitting for other ppl thats actually like. a bit wild. i fucking lurveee expressions n noses n making all these fictional losers look very soft for eachother n giving them insane hcs!!!!! i love the fact that ppl other than me r also enjoying the hcs & the gay losers!!!

anyway! Yes...a thousand times yes...of course ill marry you.....its always been you..... etc etc whatever else romantic drama protags say ! also Ur a genius, oh my god when u add onto stuff in the tags its literally ALWAYS correct, u are on my LEVEL so perfectly its wild ! ilysm!!!!!!!! tysm for literally everything im serious like actually omg. i die. ur everything and more 🫶🫶🫶🫶 also?!?!?!? ur ocs! omg! i was reading through some of ur svsss oc tags and ogughhhh theyre so good i fell to my knees and cheered to the heavens etc etc anyway heres a speedy shui qingbo as a gift 😌🤲

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

Having some Tashiro (and prev pres) Thoughts

mostly just re-hashing things my fellow tashiro fans have said but I just felt like making my own post about it. be warned i wrote this while on a 4 hour drive on paper so im not sure how the length translates into a post, this will be a long one haha. also beware of inconsistent caps lock usage.

OBLIGATORY WARNING FOR SASAMIYA FIRST AND SECOND YEAR NOVEL SPOILERS

This whole thing was mainly brought on by two things, one is my non-ssmyverse friend dming me a twt screenshot with the most bland and uninspired description of tashiro's character ive ever read, signaling to me that tumblr has really spoiled me with the good tashiro takes. the other thing was that i got inspired to bring the first and second years novels with me on my previously mentioned long drive, which means that i got the pleasure of rereading both and, most importantly, rereading Tashiro Love & Passion. safe to say i had a lot to think about afterwards.

The whole thing really reminded me of the aspect of tashiro that i've always found interesting: his observant nature. And i dont just mean how he views others, but also how he views himself. How this perspective breaks the most of what we'd expect from a character like him, something Harusono loves to do with their characters.

From the first couple of pages in L&P alone, we get a lot of insight on how tashiro sees himself and how he bases much of that on how others view him.

He mentions a lot of clubs that he was a part of in the past or helped out with, describing his tendency not to stick around one club.

"The all-rounder." A "pinch player" anyone could call on.

I feel like this is an important place to start because just from this we see a bit of how Tashiro breaks from the mold of what an unassuming reader may expect him to be.

In the Sasamiya manga/anime, we dont really have too many chances to really view tashiro for who he is as an individual. with our limited perspective of him, we get to know miyano's friend tashiro, a bright, fun, and earnest character who says whats on his mind and is apparently on the ping pong team with hanzawa which is neat.

and if you werent a bit unhinged like myself and some others, this would be a fair assessment of his character. but ohhh boy once Love & Passion hit the towers there was no turning back.

there have been some posts getting into the themes of this chapter that i feel analyze it better than i ever could, so i wont do that, but i do want to talk about how tashiro's character is portrayed throughout the chapter.

And by far the main part that i want to focus on is how hardworking he is, and his and other's perspectives of him are effected by this.

Because tashiro is someone who wants very very badly to win, as he says numerous times throughout the chapter. Even under the guise of someday getting to quit the ping pong club, he pushes himself to get better; even going as far as practicing against the grannies and grandpas at the bath house that totally didnt adopt him.

For all his complaints, it would be easy to push off his actions as comedic. maybe, and im just making stuff up as i go, saying that he is only behaving as a stereotypical fun-loving slacker would. that his only motive truly is just to leave the club and drift through the rest of his high school days.

But then, that just isnt true is it? what kind of slacker would put so much time and effort into a club that he never even wanted to stick with in the first place?

This my dear friends, is how the Tashiro brainworms Fucking Get You.

Because why indeed, why is tashiro, who drifts through life wondering if he'll ever find his purpose, his Passion if you would, so impressive to the Previous Ping Pong Club President (prev pres) that he finds himself in line for future president?

While tashiro never really seems to figure this mystery out himself, we can take a few guesses.

While we will probably never see prev pres' thought process here (unless we get those 10k words of hanzawa lore that he'd probably be a part of) his actions speak for themselves in a way.

Afterall, this is the same president that got him stuck in this club to begin with, the same one who watched him complain, the same one who'd help drag him back whenever he would try to skip.

He's also the same president who watched him keep to their deal instead of just trying to find a way around it and quitting anyways. the same one who played against him at every practice, watching him learn and grow as a player. who saw him work hard, determined to not bring the team down, even if he wasnt as into it as the others. who saw him stick around.

in his perspective, tashiro takes multiple chances to not how he feels different from the people around him, that he has never known their "love" and never felt their "passion".

He finds himself surrounded by the Passion of others each day. His teammates, his friends, his bath house grandparents, just about everyone in the whole world. but what about him?

i mean, its not as if he's not interested in anything, he has things he likes. hobbies he enjoys. he just... never got that burning Passion, that unabashed Love for something like everyone else seems to have.

I think prev pres understood this part of him. that he saw what tashiro, for all his insightfulness, couldnt see for himself.

because for all tashiro believes that he doesnt have Passion, he sure does love to watch others indulge in theirs.

he takes note of what little he can catch while kuresawa and miyano talk BL, just so he can ask questions later. he gets to know the people at the bath house, listening as they talk about their lives and interests. and while he may not be "super into" in the ping pong club in general, he still wants to see his teammates succeed. he may never have stuck with a club for very long, but he still made himself reliable enough that he's seen as someone they can call to step in when needed.

in my mind i think that is what prev pres saw in him, how tashiro's dedication to see the Passions of others flourish assured him that the club would be safe in his hands.

and, while i cant say tashiro's passion is one specific thing right now, i can say that it encompasses every dream he wants to see grow. every love he curiously watches bloom. every ping pong match he fights to win.

[eilinelsghost]

hi! i hope its ok to send this as an ask instead of dming. i get shy about dms so i tend to default to asks. as ive said a few times here already, ive loved your beor/finrod series so much. i think yours is one of the best finrods i've ever read. im not sure if youre a fic reader too or primarily a writer, but i wondered whether youd read chthonions anastasis or the harrowing? you both write such a good and gentle finrod that i was curious if you knew each other or had similar inspiration? if you havent, i highly recommend it if you (obviously) like finrod! they are such beautiful and thought-provoking fics and ive really enjoyed how they explore the philosophical implications of all these things - which is another thing that made me think of you because thats something that really draws me to your fics too. you both dig into that in such perceptive and interesting ways. anyway, i read lost and found that they posted today and several things in that reminded me of your finrod (and yours of theirs) and i wanted to recommend it if you werent already familiar with their stuff. anyway im sorry if this is a weird ask to send! thanks so much for sharing your writing with all of us. its been a really bright spot in this yearr for me so far!

Hello! No, this wasn't weird to say, don't worry. (And please don't be shy about dms either if you prefer those!) I'm going to tag @chthonion in this reply because I don't want to talk about their fic without them being looped in - and also to be sure they see your compliments of their writing. :)

No, we don't know each other, so it isn't a gentle-Finrod-by-osmosis deal 😂 I read Anastasis a few months back and you're right - I really enjoyed the connection of Finrod, Frodo, and Celebrimbor's various traumas. It had never occurred to me to link those three characters together with their shared suffering and that was so fascinating to see that connection really delved into. (As a side note, I could honestly read an entire series that is just Finrod, Frodo, and Celebrimbor drinking together haha. That scene was delightful and really stuck with me.) I confess I have not done a good job keeping up with The Harrowing, but that's just because Silvergifting isn't really one of my primary draws ship-wise. I've heard really great things about it from a lot of people in the fandom!

Thanks so much for reccing their latest fic - that description looks really fascinating and has me very curious.

And thank you so much for all the kind things you've said in this - both about my own writing and about chthonion's. It's always such an encouragement as a writer to hear that what we've made has brought joy or fascination or a new facet of interpretation for those who read it. Honestly that's the dream! Thank you for saying all of that - it means a lot to hear it!

[adamworu]

hii i just wanted to say thank you for the years uve been posting eva and hyper-analyzing the series and kaworu especially .. i found ur blog after watching the series back when the Kaworu Database consisted mostly of soundboards and shit like that and despite my waning interest in the series ive not had the impulse to unfollow u. which is weird for me, because at the ripe age of 26 there’s a lot about nge that doesnt sit right with me anymore.

i got my boyfriend to watch NGE and the rebuilds with me and found myself genuinely ashamed way more than i’d anticipated. the last movie was the nail in the coffin for me specifically because of, let’s face it, the surplus of self-aware asuka fanservice. i was repulsed and denounced my interest in the series entirely. it was difficult to make such a claim because of how important to me the series was (still is, if im being honest) and how pivotal it was to my growth at the time i first watched it.

saw one of your posts on my dash today and went to take a casual look at your blog cuz i was curious as to how you were faring in the sea of eva content after a solid 10 years. looked at one of your posts explaining what nge is at its core and the messages it means to send and How it sends them and found myself falling back into the mindset of “fuck, i missed this shit.”

i appreciate how many years you’ve spent looking at evangelion as a piece of psychological horror, how many years you’ve spent dissecting it under a microscope with 50000x magnification. you’ve been the Only thing that’s brought eva back to the front of my feeble little brain over the past, idk five years or so, and youve now been the reason why i can still appreciate the series despite its flaws. you don’t focus on those flaws and it reads that you do so not because you don’t care, but because they’re obvious and don’t need to be stated. im starting to ramble and im sorry that this ask was long but dming you felt too.. personal despite this message being exactly that.

TL;DR, thank you for analyzing evangelion and kaworu nagisa for many years and singlehandedly reminding me of all the reasons why i enjoyed the series as much as i did when i first watched it. i know your interest in eva is waning, so thank you for what youve given the world over the last 10 years <3

Thank you ever so much! This blog sort of started as a way for me to navigate Eva myself. It's been 10 years and though my passion has fizzled, I still get those visceral feelings of Eva no matter what. It always pulls me in. I still have some of that juice left in me, but mostly I found other source material at the moment I'm highkey obsessed over (I'll give you a hint: cult classic, starts with V, ends with D). It's not all bad. I hope you have a wonderful day :)

[emilyelizabethfowl]

ive learned im not friendly, actually

unless the social interaction has been initiated by me - in which case i go out the gate with a "hi im emily, this is how we know each other, this is what im hoping to achieve through this convo" - im suspicious as fuck lol

someone requested a dm on discord. i accepted bc of course i did, im nosy af. usually those end up in unsolicited advertisement or some scam attempt but one time someone was very entertaining in demanding i buy them nitro, so thats up on the table

theyre from a server i never talk in but i figured they might have a valid reason for contacting me - its a writing server and i am a writer, so maybe thats how they know me?

but they. refuse to state their goal? "r u up for a lil chat" well that tells me nothing? whats the topic? "hru" mate i barely exchange pleasantries for the sake of my family, just get to the point already?

"what are you doing" - see, i answer this question differently based on who asks. i tailor the response to what i think would interest my friends the most. i do a ton of shit, always flitting from one activity to another, so i cater my response based on which activities and fandoms i share with the person in question

but i have no idea who you are, so how do you expect me to be able to answer?

ive asked them straight up if they had any particular reason for dming me or if theyve just gone down the users list in the server. 20 minutes ago, actually. theyve yet to respond, when all their previous messages were sent in a matter of seconds lol

ill give them until i come back from the grocery run and then im closing the dm and forgetting that ever happened

so yeah unless i know 1. who you are (just name is fine) 2. how you know me (there's gotta be some reason why ur in my dms) and 3. what your end goal is (shared fandom? just friends? want a favor?), im not wasting my Being Nice energy on ur ass akjsdghkjafshjka

[elftwink]

lots of discussion on the dash as of late about trying to get people to switch from dnd to other systems (filled with ppl saying correct and true things. this is not a criticism), but relatively little recommending specific games or systems. well be the change you want to see in the world is what they say, so to anyone looking to branch out but not sure where to start, i would like to recommend my all time favourite ttrpg:

SPACE TRAIN SPACE HEIST

here's the little itch.io blurb (or the important part anyway): "A high-octane, single session, GM-less, Forged In The Dark, goof of a game for 3-5 players about space robbing a space train."

the number one reason i recommend this one is that it's very easy to learn no matter what system you're used to or if you have ever played tabletop at all. the rules are quick and very clear, it only uses one type of dice (a d6, the one basically everyone has at least in some board game or another). i have played this game with people who have only ever played dnd, and i have played it at a board game night with 0 ttrpg players. the game recommends 3-5 players but ive played up to seven and with some effort i think you could also play with only two.

another reason: it's gmless, and it has ZERO prep (besides maybe reading the rules, but i read them for the first time while learning to play with a group, so its not THAT important). to me this is one of the major sticking points of trying to make a dnd group: deciding who is the dm and then relying on that person to prepare a session. while i love dming, sometimes you just also want to be a player for a bit. well now we're all players!

(there is a facilitator role that's explained at the back of the rulebook, if you want, and if your players are a bit nervous to play totally gmless. but tbh, i will say i often SAY i will facilitate and then change nothing about how i would play besides reminding people of the rules and making sure everyone gets a chance to speak, both things that by the end of the game other players are usually doing of their own volition to help each other along. often, especially with otherwise experienced players, it's a little intimidating to go without a gm because of convention, not because they aren't capable of doing it. they always are!)

the mechanics and theme encourage you to be as ridiculous as possible (with playbooks like space wizard, where you can cast any spell but only once before you forget it forever, or egghead, where you're completely useless on purpose except for one specific and critically heist related expertise; train cars filled with escher staircases; and npcs who are extradimensional dragons or intergalactic popstars. or who run a junkyard. yeah on the train in space), and when i play i try to emphasize that the only win condition is that the players have fun and the story be interesting and funny. while i don't want to just Explain All the Rules (i want you to download the pdf from the game designers that does that), i will tell you about what i think is the best one:

when you make an action roll, you roll a number of d6s based on a few conditions. the first and most important of those conditions is "describe what you do in cinematic detail". to me this is actually what makes this game so fucking great. one of the parts i always find difficult to handle with games like dnd is preventing slog. you know, when youve been in combat for awhile and at each turn the player is like "Well. im gonna use my greatsword." then they roll and they go "oh cool i hit" (<- completely deadpan voice and expression) and you the dm says "ok you did x amount of damage" and they go cool. turn over. BORING. now there's lots you can do as the dm to prevent this, but they rely on you the dm trying to prevent this. or coming together as a table and trying to find ways to prevent it together.

in space train space heist, in order to even roll in the first place, you are required to get descriptive!!! you can't say "well i hit him with a fireball" (a thing you can absolutely do in space train space heist, btw, as long as you're playing a space wizard), you have to go more like "i move my hands in a circular motion and start chanting an incantation and from my palms comes a great BLAST of fire that shoots across the room and i want to explode the security robot into a gazillion pieces" now THATS cinematic detail!!! and all that extra detail has the added bonus of making it that much easier for other players to work in where their character is, what they're doing, and what the group needs to do next. it makes it so much easier to get into the roleplay, and imo is such a beautiful way to work it into the mechanics, and it's SO much easier to involve players who are otherwise really nervous or uncertain about roleplaying

obviously it's very different mechanically and thematically from dungeons and dragons. to me this is part of why i think dnd players should give it a try; often dnd players branch out only to very similar games, and while i do think you should chase your bliss (and i have nothing against games like say pathfinder. would love to play it someday myself lol), i think space train space heist can show you just how wide and varied ttrpgs actually can be. and although i myself still continue to play dnd 5e and probably will for the forseeable future, i think my experiences playing space train space heist have exponentially improved how i handle dnd games and how i think about making it fun for everyone.

the game is $5 USD. if you aren't able to afford that, no worries because there are currently around 69 thousand community copies available for you. and if you bought the ttrpgs for trans rights itch.io bundle awhile ago you already own it! pleaseeee give it a go all you need is 2 friends, a few six-sided dice, and to get a little silly with it

[warmgrey]

starting to seriously consider trying out DMing.... it has always interested me but also scared/intimidated me, im very good at fumbling my words or finding the wrong words and not very good at getting into character so having to do that constantly with npcs seems like. a lot. and having to think on my feet and improvise is also not a strong suit. but ive been slowly reading thru the lost mine book and. now i wanttt tooooo even tho ill probably be bad at it i still want to try...

[advice-go-for-it]

ok so. here's the thing. i've been in love for this person for months now right. recently, we've started talking getting to know each other, yada yada. i started to feel an emotional attachment to them that i hadn't felt with anyone else before. they made me happy. happier than ive been in a long time.

now, i had always known they were genderfluid. that was a given from the start. but my hetero-ass mind had always... assumed a more fem-leading position.

today, i was finally able to ask exactly how they generally present. their response? in times than not, they do have a more masc presentation. i had anticipated something like this, but now... i've getting way too many conflicting emotions here.

like mentioned before, i consider myself a heterosexual. but i had planned to make an "exception" for them, simply just because of how much i liked them, how much i connected with them as a person. but at this moment? it varies from heartbreak to damn near disinterest.

its like i don't want a relationship with them anymore. which is scary, because nothing has changed, besides my image of them. i mean, what the hell is wrong with me? i knew they were genderfluid, i knew this was a possibility, so how can i go from head-over-heels-ready-to-confess-TOMORROW in love with them to utter disinterest just because they happen to present as masc more frequently?

i mean, they have a feminine voice! and im 90% sure they're AFAB. so what's the problem? what's my fucking problem? and you know the worst part of it all? this friendship that i've developed with them might've damn well pulled me out of depression. (not completely, but to a manageable level.) but now that i'm "okay" with just being friends, the suicidal thoughts are back all over again. was i only living for the possibility of a relationship with someone i didn't even know what gender they present as?

to be absolutely clear, the problem is NOT that they're more of a guy. the problem is now that i know that, despite all rational thought, my brain refuses to acknowledge those past feelings. now i feel more lonely than ever. am i selfish? was i just doomed from the start?

sorry for the long ass post. a lot's on my mind right now.

TW MEMTIONED SU*C*DAL THOUGHTS

There’s nothing wrong with you. It sounds more like your brain let you get away with the “exception” because you let yourself see them as more feminine. Now that that’s changed, you just aren’t interested.

You don’t have an attraction to the more male presenting population. Your brain recognized that and changed your feelings. It happens sometimes.

I know it can be very difficult and possibly scary to have happen, and I’m sorry. The best thing to do is treat it the same way you would if you fell out of love with any other person. Your brain decided that you aren’t attracted to them anymore, and that’s okay.

It sounds like you were putting most of your hope into this, and that’s why it’s so emotionally devastating. You need to find a way to live for yourself, and not just for them.

Therapy and studying things that help with depression can help a lot. So can establishing a routine. Remember, there are people who love you. There are people who would be devastated if you were gone.

You aren’t selfish I promise. Sometimes people can only feel attraction in specific ways, and that’s you.

I myself have struggled a lot with this kind of thing. I existed for someone and for the chance that they’d want me. It ended badly and that wrecked me. I had to learn to live for myself, and to love myself.

Try pouring out these feelings somewhere, or with someone you trust. Try and find something else to live for, if you can’t live for yourself yet.

It’s also possible that your feelings could return once your brain gets used to the change in perspective. You could gain feelings for someone else in the future as well.

I promise that you’ll get through this. If you have any more questions I’d be happy to help, and you can also try DMing me if you’d like more specific answers.

I hope this helps, at least a bit. You are not alone.

💚

[boxleys-askbox]

Id like to ask you to think about what you are saying about me, how lilttle evidence you actually have to make those claims and why youre choosing to say them regardless.

you have no interest in seeing their full context for yourself or in taking my words about it seriously and yet you seem convinced you know exactly what was happening and why more so than i do, the person who was a direct part of the entire scene and conversations surrounding it.

you are making a rediculous amount of assumptions seemingly because youre projecting your own negative experiences and emotions over the top of my actual feelings and ignoring my feelings because from your perspective it can only possibly make sense that im mistaken in what i feel.

all of you are appropriating my pain for your own ends and i have very little patience for this. you are all constantly deliberately choosing to engage with this topic but somehow are always just scared enough to never actually get close to any primary sources.

you have demonstrated no care for my real emotions, only the emotions you infer i MUST be Logically feeling based on what you have assumed about me after downplaying and denying my own perspective.

you have directly admitted to me here that context does not matter and i wonder why you think that. do you believe its impossible that i can consent to something that might be painful for me? because i can and i did. do you think im horrified and humiliated by what happened? because im not. do you think this was something initiated by glip to make me upset for no reason? because thats not remotely how any of this has worked.

you have no grounds at all to tell me otherwise other than you making enormous assumptions and replacing my feelings with your own. you are being rediculous.

Just on the face of it, im quite secure in believing that i, someone whos been in floraverse through the entire period you were and to this day, might know whats happening in them better than you do, someone who relies entirely on a brief negative experience in it and secondhand anonymous testimonies.

your constant assumption that im living with my head in the sand totally unaware that glip is actually secretly readying to attack me for no fucking reason is a bit revealing. what experiences could lead you to assume that is not only possible but some secret inevitability? something that i have not seen with anyone ive associated with in floraverse for the years ive been here.

Your willingness to use me and erase my feelings because you dont agree with them has given me no reason at all to trust you. but just to be thorough ill answer your questions here.

my interest in DMing rather than tumblr posts was to allow conversation to be more thorough and direct rather than this much harder to follow format of block text, and it would demonstrate that someone actually cared enough about evidence to get it from a primary source.

and Rina was a complicated issue of them being connected to and hurt by various people within floraverse but also them repeatedly misrepresenting events, in the end Rina left of their own accord but not before releasing a large parting letter detailing what grievances they had and not making any effort to resolve them beyond that point.

though from the sounds of it you have some story about Rina either based on that letter or from another unverifiable anonymous source that puts things in neatly black and white terms.

ultimately you are not telling me about some mistake im making, you dont understand anything about what has happened other than what superficial screenshots youve read and your own assumptions about me. you dont know who i am but somehow still think its appropriate to talk about me in this presumptuous and condescending manner. Ive been polite as i can about it but you are so blatantly uninterested in coming to an understanding of me and my experiences that i cant be bothered maintaining it very much at this point.

youre not being a hero, youre not saving me or telling me some harsh truth ive never considered. youre acting out of blatant emotional projection and using me as a prop. I made this account because i REFUSE to be used in this way, i will NOT be talked over like this.

its becoming very clear to me that this is pointless to say anything to these people. no matter what i say im being controlled, my words mean nothing to you becuase im too stupid to know whats really happening and too hopelessly controlled to learn better evidently.

my experiences arent allowed to matter when theirs differ, their points need no explaination while the burden of proof is always on me.

not one person has reached out to me to directly talk about anything in dms and the constant incuriosity and lack of care for me as a person tells me just sbout everything i need to know about their intentions.

if any of you are concerned im being abused, telling me my feelings are wrong and ignoring my perspective isnt how you handle that.

its particularly vile feeling that after i just got out of a difficult and abusive relationship because of the support ive had, suddenly im being told i dont know what abuse really looks like after i didnt agree with someones vague testimony about how abusive glip really is. you have given me no reason to beleive you and i have little evidence any of you care about the harm youve caused with this careless bullshit.

im getting quite bored of this

[jollyrogergay]

things i didn't expect to be doing when i woke up this morning: agreeing to DM for my friends despite never playing d&d before

[fixing-bad-comic-art]

fun asks for boredom: do you read books? have you been to the LIBRARY lately now that it’s open again? do you want book recs? (bc im full of them PLS) - if not books, what are you doing with your free time? tv video games movies? what’s occupying your thoughts, what are you obsessed with right now? wanna infodump on anything? or vent? i want to listen :D

ive been a few times! i love the work area at my local library bc its always quiet and its got really nice views, so i visit it a lot. but im not a big reader tbh. im dyslexic and a lot of books are just too hard to get through unless theyre digital and i can change the font to something thats easier to parse which not all books/apps/websites let you do. and anybody who says the built in tts systems that these apps have are good enough, are lying to themselves. so most of the time when i buy/burrow a book its usually just a reference book of some kind.

and on that note, this is a Big reason i dont read a lot of comics, that crowded faux handwritten font a lot of them use is hellish for me to try and parse.

and its a bit of a joke amongst my friends that if im not actively making something im probably yakking on deaths doormat, lmao. right now im mostly into writting and doing digital paintings, but spinning and crochet are old favorites

and like, right now my biggest obsession is dnd, i love dming and the more role play focused sand box campaigns. and before anyone points out that theres better systems for role play focused games, i know, i actually like how janky dnd is on this front because it gives both sides of the table way more freedom to do what feels right.

like This is my rant, letting the players Genuinely argue through their character to try and get something done is Way more interesting than just making them role 1 die and do some math.

like, theres this one moment in the first campaign i ran for my best friend that i keep coming back too.

she had accidentally (on her part, this was my plan all along) traded away a mcguffin to the absolute last person she would want to have that.

when Summer(the npc) came to collect the mcguffin from Shiana(the pc) i Could have had zen(my bff) role 1 d20 and add shiana's persuasion modifier to it. and just on a role of the dice i could have decided where this litteraly game ending mcguffin would land.

if Summer gets it an eternal summer would ravenge the world. but her brother in law would be given more time with his family and a chance at survival.

if he didn't Shiana's brother in law and close friend was more likely to... not die, but also not exist anymore. but her holding onto it gave her time to maybe save both him and the world.

by not basing this on a dice role shiana got to Argue with this fairy to try and get her way out of this deal. zen got the experience of him arguing right back and trying just as hard as she was to get the damn thing.

and because she couldn't just role to persuade him they ended up having one of the most intense fights while she was Running For Her Life because she, Zen and shiana, not a trick of luck, royally pissed off the embodiment of Summer. she got to call on the power of both gods she had a connection to and nearly died from overwhelming herself with their power in a desperate bid to buy herself some time.

because we weren't using any strict rules for this, or really Any rules, we were able to tell a story that was much more engaging than one dice roll ever could be.

like, tldr, dnd Is good for role play because its Very easy to just ignore the clunky/underdeveloped rp rules when needed.

also dnd has tieflings. i like tieflings. think theyre Real Neat.

[superchat]

how do I make friends on here?

writing this after i wrote everything else: i think a big part of it is familiarity. i think the best chances of making friends are with blogs that recognize you and that you recognize well too. (if youre following someone and, like their content theyll see that tbh)

i would say dont be afraid to be vocal in the tags when you reblog things. i think a lot of people really like seeing their mutuals/followers thoughts/comments/reactions in their notifs, or at least i do. and im sure others appreciate it too. theyll notice you. if youre following any blogs you like, and think the person behind them are nice or someone youd like to know, you can always just send them an ask saying you like their stuff and appreciate their content. just being open and honest about those kinds of things really makes a difference and helps kind of break the ice with people. if youre too shy, you can always just send an anon. they wont know its from YOU but it might help you feel more comfortable reaching out in the future. im a big fan of that cuz im shy (but talkative lmao) and dont always do well in conversations but i like sending anons to ppl i like (srry if this is tangential)

theres been a few times where a mutual or someone i follow will reblog something im interested in too and ive sent an ask like "luaras theme in SH2 is so good, i love her character so much" so just like, reaching out based on common interests is always good

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk abt DMing.......the most comfortable ive been with DMing people is when they have questions. someone will be like "what song is this" or "wheres that post abt THING" or something. and me being the, tunnel vision person i am, and liking to be helpful, ive gone out of my way to find those things and i feel okay to like, send it to them in their DMs like "heres the thing!" OH, one thing ive done in the past is like. ive seen a post that i thought another blog would like, or it was something that really reminded me of them and ive been like "hey i hope this isnt weird feel free to ignore but i saw this thing and thought youd like it"

big important thing imo is like, many people care, and if youre long time mutuals, chances are they recognize your blog and appreciate you. there are also many people who are just, not interested in socializing too. its important to not like, take any of that personal. if you do talk to someone, and after a few conversations, things fizzle out, or if they dont reply much. dont take it personal. online friendships can be very hit or miss. if i ever reach out to someone i always start it with like "are you okay chatting?" or "i hope dming you doesnt make you uncomfortable, if it does we dont have to talk!" or something, and after that, if theyre down to talk. ill say what i wanted to talk about

[enderwalk]

like okay here’s the thing. ive been in a ton of fandoms before here on tumblr, mostly spn because it was my big special interest at the time but i was always like. idk a rlly small blog. like 50 followers max for years bc i was so Nervous about putting myself out there and interacting with people and making friends. like i was so fucking nervous abt it. but for some reason in this fandom ive made so many friends that i just adore. people i can really just click with and dont get nervous about dming or vcing, people im comfortable talking to about my interests without fear of being judged or anything. being able to just join a vc with met and holly and damien and just dick around on the realm and laugh and just be comfortable with is so fucking nice and i wouldnt trade it for anything honestly

[sheep-goat-child]

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to all of my new followers:

(pls be sure to read my carrd (especially before following me) if the information i provided below is way too much for you)

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hi there! im sheepy! i am a 21-year-old auDHD wiccan demigirl lesbian who is an artist, animator and future graphic designer!! i mainly draw anime-esque anthropomorphic animals and fandom-based art.

speaking of, lets look at my hyperfixations/special interests below:

- cookie run + cookie run kingdom *

- animal crossing

- fnaf (currently obsessed with/lh)*

- sanrio *

- care bears *

- pastel goth fashion *

- denpa games, anime, and music*

- webkinz *

- littlest pet shop *

- pop, rock, metal, and more music genres *

- when they cry (higurashi, umineko and ciconia) *

- anime, manga, and visual novels *

- show by rock!! *

- horror (depends on the kind of horror tho =P)

- pokémon

- cartoons

- rilakkuma

- tokidoki

- gloomy bear

- kidcore *

- pastels *

- vaporwave *

- 80s retro *

- holidays (e.g. halloween & christmas)

- and much more!

(*= main fixations)

(please note that i can be very critical of some of my interests)

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before you follow: i wont always respond to dms (from here, discord, instagram, etc.) right away due to personal life, not knowing how to respond properly (e.g. sending a "yeah" would make me not know how to respond properly) and just me being busy constantly. please dont feel like you did something wrong. i really do appreciate your concern tho; please be sure to use tone indicators when interacting with me; if i accidentally follow/interact with someone problematic, please let me know by dming me or tagging me in callout posts, dont block me even if we arent mutuals (will result in me blocking you back lol); i sometimes have a tendency to accidentally like, attempt to retweet/reblog stuff, and/or follow you, i apologize in advance, im just really shy and awkward sometimes; i sometimes make spelling/grammatical errors, and sometimes will add an extra space (without knowing right away) when i type (which i edit usually unless its twitter)

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do not interact with me if youre: a MAP/pedo, homophobic, transphobic, a terf, a truscum, a tr*mp supporter, anti-BLM/anti-ACAB, islamophobic, racist, ableist, sexist/misogynistic, a bigoted religious person, a toxic person, an art thief/tracer, a proshipper/anti-anti, a nsfw/smut fic blog, ddlg/abdl/age-play/pet-play/kink/other variants, anti agere/anti cglre/anti petre/think agere/cglre/petre are sexual, mcyt/dmsp/etc. (mutuals/people i follow are exempt, but please know that you’re on thin ice right now/srs), a zionist, or a bad person in general (there's more to add but theyre listed in my carrd)

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my discomforts:

- religion (specifically christianity and it’s variants)

- eye contact

- spiders

- bugs (except for butterflies, praying mantises and ladybugs)

- cows mooing

- really loud noises

(catch call is sheepy dont look)

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heres what i draw:

got any questions? don’t hesitate to ask via my ask inbox and/or dms! many thanks and have an amazing day!! 💙

oh! and quick reminder: if you follow any of my side blogs or my art blog, i will follow back as @sheep-goat-child (my main blog)

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blog tags:

#art by op

#art goals (alternate "art by others" tag)

#friend art

#mutual's art

#sheep goat bleats stuff

#sheep goat draws stuff*

#sheep goat listens to stuff

#sheep goat replies to peeps

#sheep goat answers stuff

#sheep goat submits your stuff

#sheep goats favorite fashion trends

#sheep goats favorite aesthetics

#sheep goats favorite music

#sheep goat plays games

#sheep goat bleats out story times

#funny stuff

#wholesome stuff

#fav

(* tag is mainly used on my art blog and my fnaf au blog)

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game ids:

cookie run ovenbreak: XHGMV8338

cookie run kingdom: MQJKM6416 (palaceofmacarons; Pure Vanilla Server)

fnaf ar: CC171E3E271F2083

animal crossing pocket camp: 8883 8683 678

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other social media platforms:

instagram: @sheep.goat_child13

fnaf au instagram: @fazbearpokerpizzagalore

twitter: @sheepg0atchild

art twitter: @sheepgoatart

fnaf au twitter: @FNAF_FPPGAU (inactive)

cohost: @sheep-goat-child (basically it's the same handle as my tumblr handle haha)

ko-fi: sheepgoatchild

discord: sheepgoat_child

fnaf au discord server:

my discord server (mutuals only!):

tumblr: youre here lol

art blog: @sheep-goat-art

fnaf au blog: @fazbear-poker-pizza-galore

doodle stash blog: @sheepysdoodlestash (16+ recommended)

(* account is under construction)

enjoy your stay, and thanks for reading my pinned/carrd! 💕

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[honeyheaded]

mkay so im a Giant Fucking Nerd, right?

stay with me, theres a point to this

so, im a nerd, i like reading, i like writing, i like certain types of math and science, i like learning Cool things about history that isn't from america cause Fuck america, i like anime! and video games!

and i play dnd

so me n my friends are preparing to start this campaign, right? and my Best Fucking Friend (i call her mim on here, ive talked abt her before) is the dm. i was the first one to have my character completely figured out, character sheet and story and everything

so, while the others have been figuring out there character, me n mim have been talking abt my character and the main baddie (we're doing curse of strahd btw for anybody who actually knows dnd)

this is mims first time dming, so we're were going to play the campaign different than usual anyway, but me n mim got this Idea

so, my character, Gentle, is a chaotic good human warlock who has a chaotic neutral demon inside her (think venom, cause theys what i based them on) this was always the plan i had for her. her patron is the one who put them in her, its been there since she was five, and now she's around twenty, her n the demon are friends, maybe more

her story is that when she was five she was kidnapped by cultists and sacrificed to her patron in an attempt to gain power. her patron instead decided to use her, because children are easy to influence

apparently, one of the patrons that you can have in curse of strahd... is strahd himself

and this is where her story gets interesting

basically, since she was five, strahd has been using her as bait to lure adventurers into the mansion, and then wiping her memories and storing thim in a small pendant on a circlet she wears on her head (basically its a jewel that rests on a chain in the middle of her forehead)

for FIFTEEN YEARS AT L E A S T shes been unknowingly bringing people to their doom

now she's with her current group, theyve only been together for a few months, but she really likes them. because of this, she hasn't told them about glyph (glyphamore, the demon) as in her experience people generally dont tend to stick around once they find out she's buddy-buddy with a demon

(as we haven't started the campaign yet, i dont know exactly Why theyre in the mansion, but-)

she doesn't like how eerily familiar the mansion seems. she does't like how she seems to know the answers to these puzzles so easily. she doesn't like how she keeps getting this searing pain in her head. and she really doesnt like how she keeps getting flashes of memories of her in this mansion when she Knows she hasnt been here before...

... right?

[sherlockmormorrp]

Had the most amazing rp

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like johnlock.

Stranger: [Cam! Boy Sherlock, y/c is a regular viewer. They've started DMing, and y/c requests special things for extra money. 19.] Hey, love. Haven't heard from you in a while... SH

You: Hey, sorry. Money has been kinda tight. I've missed seeing you. JW (25)

Stranger: Yeah? Everything okay, hun? SH

Stranger: I've missed you, too. SH

You: It's a long story. I didn't want to bother you. I know you've got other customers, your time is important. JW

Stranger: It is, but I've always got time for you x SH

You: I'm sure you say that to all your regulars. JW

Stranger: I do, but I mean it with you. SH You've been a regular for a year now. Can't say I haven't got a bit of a fondness for you. SH

You: Don't get my hopes up like that. I've already fallen for you. JW

Stranger: Aren't you sweet? SH I'm sure you can do far better than some boy in a shoddy flat in London. SH

You: Not really, well I've never been with any boys. JW Not..really out yet. I started looking at gay porn as I got curious and that how I found you. JW

Stranger: Really? SH With the things you've asked me to do, I figured you were a bit of a pro... SH

You: Just curious I suppose. And a bit imaginative. JW I like you. It's more real than porn, porn seems fake. But you're real. JW

Stranger: I'm definitely real. SH [...] I do hope Ive never hurt your feelings, knowing you're not my only client.. SH

You: I'm not a fool. I know this is a business. JW It's your job to make sad blokes like me feel special. JW

Stranger: You're not sad. SH Believe me, some of my clients are far, far worse. SH

You: Glad I'm not the worst. JW I'm sorry I can't send you anything. I won't be upset if you take me off your viewing list. JW

Stranger: I'm not taking you off my viewing list, John. SH Hard times are hard times. SH [Long delay, image attached of Sherlock sucking on a dildo] Here. To lift your spirits. No charge <3 SH

You: Christ, Sherlock, you're giving me a boner at work..JW You sure know how to cheer me up. You're too sweet. JW

Stranger: Figured you could use a pick me up. SH And eh, it's supposed to be Will when I'm working ;) SH

You: Oh, yeah-sorry. Will. JW I've always like your..real name better, can't help myself. JW

Stranger: I like it when you call me Sherlock. SH You're the only one that knows my real name. SH

You: Really? JW

Stranger: Yeah, really. SH

You: What'd I do to get the honor? JW

Stranger: [....] Made me feel special. SH That's supposed to be my job. SH

You: You are special. JW I'd make you feel special anytime, free of charge. JW

Stranger: Sap. SH .... Thank you, John. SH

You: Do you..ever ask for pictures of your clients? JW

You: Or do you prefer them to be names on screens? JW

Stranger: I've never asked for a picture before. SH But, I wouldn't mind seeing the man behind the mask, ha. SH

You: I just thought it'd be fair, I've seen so much of you. JW [Image attached; a selfie of John. A warm smile, dusty blonde hair and a maroon jumper]

Stranger: Oh, look at you! SH You're so cute! SH

You: Ha, thanks..I'm not too good at the whole selfie thing..JW

Stranger: You look great, John. SH Honestly, I was a bit afraid you were some 60 year old old man. SH

You: Oh, I'm sure you have 60-year-old customers, probably got a lot more money to spend than I do. JW I'm only 25, by the way. JW

Stranger: Oh, thank god. SH I'm sure I do, but they get to call me Will, and you get to call me Sherlock. There's a difference. SH

You: Well, you certainly make me feel special..JW

Stranger: You are, genuinely. SH You shouldn't be. It's bad for my work, you kow. SH But you are. SH

You: Oh? I'm bad for business, how so? JW

Stranger: Because I think about you far more often than I should. SH Was genuinely worried about you. SH

You: You're really the only person who'd notice if I went missing...JW

Stranger: Oh, come on, I'm sure that's not true. SH

You: No, it is. JW I haven't got anyone, my work would probably notice for a bit but would find someone to replace me rather quick. JW

Stranger: What about your family? SH

You: Only got my sister left, she'd be too drunk to notice. JW

You: Sorry, I'm only proving that I'm just another sad bloke. JW You're a cam model, not my therapist. I shouldn't be bothering you. JW

Stranger: I really don't mind. SH

Stranger: [....] I'd like to think you can talk to me, even when I'm not Will. SH

You: You're a lot more than Will to me. JW That's what scares me. JW

Stranger: I am? SH

You: Yes. JW

Stranger: [....] You're sweet, John. So sweet. sH

You: Not sweet, just a sappy fool. JW

Stranger: I think it's sweet. SH You're more than just a client to me. SH

You: What am I then? JW

Stranger: [....] Special. SH

Stranger: A friend, maybe. SH

You: I'd be honored to be considered your friend. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH

You: Yeah. JW

Stranger: Thank you, John. SH

You: Of course. Sherlock. JW Thank you for talking to me, you made my day better, even without the photo. JW

Stranger: I'm glad. SH I really enjoy talking to you. SH

You: Me too. JW Do you do anything beside caming? JW

Stranger: I do. SH I play violin. I try to do uni, though caming doesn't pull in enough money for me to really succeed with that. SH

You: Violin? That's a beautiful instrument. I'd love to hear you play. JW I understand that I've been trying to work enough for Uni but it's never enough. Might go into the army, actually. Seems to be the only way I'll get medical training. JW

Stranger: Think you could handle the stress of the army? I know I couldn't. sH

You: Yeah, had a pretty strict father. I'm used to being yelled at. I'd like to have the training too. JW

Stranger: I suppose... SH I'd definitely miss you. SH

You: Well after Bootcamp I'd get my phone again. Only be unavailable if they deploy me. I'd send you letters, if you really wanted to hear from me. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH I'd like that. SH

You: I'd like to have someone waiting for me..JW I'm still thinking it over, but with the way finances are looking. It might be my only option, unfortunately. JW I'd miss seeing you. JW

Stranger: I could send you pictures. Give you something to look forward to, hm? SH

You: I'd love that. Couldn't be anything..explicit. They check your mail as a soldier. But honestly, you're so handsome I'd just like to have a photo of your face. JW

Stranger: You're so sweet. SH

You: I mean it. You're gorgeous Sherlock. Your curls are probably my favorite thing about you..JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH [...] I've thought about you, sometimes. SH During my shows. SH

You: Thought about me how..? JW

Stranger: I think you can imagine. SH Even without me knowing what you look like. SH

Stranger: It's quite distracting. SH

You: I want to know. What exactly you were thinking. JW Were you thinking about me when you ride your dildo? JW

Stranger: God, yes. SH The vibrator, too. The purple one. It's bigger, I've always imagined... that it was you. SH

You: I'd love to do /everything/ to you, Sherlock. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH I'd let you. SH Everything you've asked me to do. SH

You: Your arse is perfect, and the way you moan. I'd stop at nothing to hear you moan my name. JW

Stranger: Yeah? SH You should come by. SH

You: You mean it..?JW

Stranger: I do. SH If you want to, I mean. SH

You: I do, of course I do. JW I just..didn't think it was allowed. JW

Stranger: I shouldn't. sH But... I do a lot of things I shouldn't. SH Maybe... if you like it, we could even do it a second time, on camera. SH

You: On camera? Oh wow. Maybe..JW I can come by after work? JW

Stranger: Perfect. SH {address attached] I'm here. SH

You: Wow, I'm pretty sure I've had a dream about this..JW Is that lame, of me to say? JW

Stranger: Not to me. SH

You: Good, because I'm sure I'm only going to get lamer from here..JW

Stranger: You're sappy. It's cute. SH

You: Glad you think so. JW I should be getting off around 2, I'll stop by my flat and shower. Should be around maybe 4 or so, is that okay? JW

Stranger: That's perfect, yeah. SH I can order takeaway, if you want. SH

You: Sure. JW I can always eat. JW

Stranger: Perfect. SH

You: I'll see you at 4. xx JW John's heart was beating out of his chest. When Sherlock said he was special a part of him never really believed him. It was Sherlock's job to say things like that. To give blocks the illusion that he was into them, he was fairly certain though that Sherlock didn't invite clients over. He was special, he couldn't believe this was really happening. He hurried home, showered, shaved and put on after shave before he stopped by the corner store and got Sherlock flowers. He knew it was probably a bit much but hey Sherlock knew he was a sappy idiot and seemed to like it. On my way. JW John hopped into a cab and tried to keep his breathing even as he finally came to terms that he was about to meet Sherlock. The gorgeous boy he'd be watching and fantasizing about for a year.

You: (heres my email incase omegele acts up and disconnects : sherlockrpemail@gmail.com)

Stranger: Sherlock couldn't believe he'd just done that. He invited over a client! And sure, John was more than a client to him, but who was to say the man wasn't lying about the photo he'd sent? What if he was actually that 60 year old Sherlock had been afraid of? Still, it was too late now, he'd given him his address and he was on his way and oh /god/. Sherlock placed the takeaway containers down on the table, not even sure if John would like it, and began to pace, closing the door to his bedroom, which had quickly become his filming space. He had his toys laid out to make camming easier, and he had purple fairy lights that helped to make his scenery interesting, and he really wasn't sure he wanted John to see that. When he heard his door bell ring, he swallowed, moving to let the blonde in.

You: John's heart hadn't stopped thumping since he had read Sherlock's text inviting him over. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he rang the door bell. His heart skipped a beat when Sherlock opened the door. It was him-it was really Sherlock. He swallowed-his mouth suddenly dry. "You're..even more gorgeous in person..' he muttered. He blushed as he realized he must look like a big idiot, blushing and gocking over Sherlock with flowers in his hand.

Stranger: Oh, thank god, it was the same man from the photos. He was attractive, and sweet, and... "Oh, are those flowers? John, you really didn't have to." He insisted, ushering the man inside and taking the bouquet from him. "You're so sweet." No one had ever bought him flowers before, not ever. He really didn't know what it was like to be fully wooed and dated. If this is what it was like, it was nice. "I got us Chinese, I hope you don't mind. I didn't know what you liked, and I figured it'd be a bit awkward to just text you and be like hey, what do you want to eat, you know? So I just got chinese, and I hope you're not like a vegetarian or anything, but if you are that's totally fine, I'll just order something else, and-" And he was absolutely rambling. So badly. He forced himself to shut up as he took the bouquet and disappeared into his tiny kitchen, filling a vase with water and putting them in it. "Thank you."

You: John smiled as he heard Sherlock rambling-it was down right adorable really. And sort of a relief that he wasn't the only one nervous. In Sherlock's videos he was so confident and in control. This was welcoming- to realize Sherlock was just as nervous as he was. He found it a bit funny that Sherlock was worried about texting him and asking what he'd like to eat but was confident to do all sorts of things on camera, he supposed Sherlock and Will were really different. When Sherlock came back in he smiled, "Chinese is perfect. I'll literally eat anything so don't worry." he assured him. "I'm glad you like the flowers, I know it's a bit cheesy..but you had to expect I'd do something sappy." he joked.

Stranger: Sherlock and Will were more than just a little different. Will was confident and sexy and would do anything for a tenner, but Sherlock... well, he was shy, and he'd never had a boyfriend, never even really gone on a date. He was inexperienced with the romantic side of things, and he was awkward, and not nearly as graceful as he was when it was just about the sex. It was why he'd approached John with sex first, instead of just asking him for a date. At least John had gotten the message, though, right? He offered a smile as he took a seat on the sofa, motioning for him to sit down next to him. "I knew you would, but they're still super sweet. I love them."

You: John joined him on the couch looking around the flat briefly before he focused his attention back on the beautiful brunet in front of him. He couldn't help the idiotic smile plastered across his face as he stared at Sherlock. "Sorry-I'm just still in shock that I'm here..that you're here. " he admitted. They had spent so long talking and to finally be sitting in front of Sherlock was amazing. He wasn't entirely sure what to do or how to go about this, he was just glad to be here. He leaned against the sofa, "Smells good, what'd you get?" he asked.

Stranger: Sherlock blushed at the way John was smiling at him, shaking his head as he opened up the takeout containers. "Chicken, some rice. Some beef, too, since I didn't know what you'd prefer." He admitted with a sheepish grin, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck as he handed over some chopsticks to John. "Eat, eat. I've never really... done this before, but I figured dinner was a good start, right?" He offered, looking over at the older blonde. He was more attractive than his photo had made him look, honestly.

You: John nodded, "It's okay, I haven't done this before either." he assured him, not really sure what to classify this as. He gave Sherlock a small smile before he began eating. "I..guess I am special then. I..didn't really think you meant it.." he admitted, "I-I just figured you say that to everyone..." he blushed softly. "I wanted to believe it but..didn't want to get my hopes up."

Stranger: Sherlock offered a small smile, reaching over and placing his hand on John's thigh. He was nice, sweet, just like in his messages. It was really, really nice. "I told you, you're the only one that knows I'm Sherlock, not Will. You're the only one I"ve ever asked for a photo from. You're special, John." He insisted, blushing a dark red. He didn't open up like this, it felt foreign and strange, and he didn't know what the hell to do with it.

You: John smiled when he saw the blush on Sherlock's face, it was adorable. "I'm glad.." he muttered. He ate a few bites of his food and looked around before he spotted Sherlock's violin case. "Oh, you know I'm going to want you to play something for me one day, right?" he asked, smiling. "Did you learn as a kid?" he asked. John wasn't really in a rush for sex, he liked talking with Sherlock, they enjoyed one another's company. At least they had over texts, but even now it wasn't too awkward.

Stranger: Sherlock felt like he was fucking this all up. John was expecting exciting and comfortable, confident Will, and that just wasn't him. Well, it was, but not all the time, and certainly not now. Still, John didn't seem put off by it, and Sherlock was starting to feel at least a little better about it. When John asked about his violin, he perked up, nodding quickly. "I started learning when I was five. It helps me to think, you know? Real relaxing." He smiled, looking over at his violin case. "My neighbors complain sometimes, because I'll play at like, 2 AM, when I can't sleep."

You: John chuckled, "They should appreciate it. It's just a violen..should be soothing. I mean it's not like you're playing the drums at 2 am." he joked. "It's a beautiful instrument really...I've heard it's not an easy one to learn either." he ate a few bites as he listened to Sherlock talk. The other had a rather nice speaking voice, his voice was deep and /very/ sexy. He offered Sherlock his to-go box. "Want some?" he offered

Stranger: Sherlock smiled, taking his own chopsticks and grabbing out a piece of chicken. "Thanks." He mumbled as he popped it into his mouth and chewed. It was definitely good chinese food. "I'm glad you find it relaxing, I guess your sentiment isn't shared by my neighbors. As for it being hard... I guess it can be. I dunno, I started learning so young, it's like second nature." He admitted with a shrug. "But you never did tell me about what you like to do, when you're not viewing my shows."

You: John chuckled a small blush crossing his face. "Uhh I don't know I'm pretty boring. I work at lot..taking a few classes-whatever I can afford really." he answered. "I managed to get a job at a clinch..I'm only a medical assistant so I'm not really doing anything important but I get to work with doctors and they show me things here and there." he answered."Oh-I box. I guess that's interesting.." he shrugged. "I box here and there..just to work out."

Stranger: "You box?" Sherlock turned to face John, taking his own to go container and eating as he listened to the blonde. "You never told me about that. Guess it explains your muscles, hm?" He winked, chuckling. "How long have you been doing that?"

You: John smiled when Sherlock complimented him, amazed the other found him attractive at all. He chuckled, "uh..since I was in high school. I played rugby. Some of the blokes invited me to the gym and I gave a go at the punching bag a few times. Had a knack for it and just kinda found my way into it. It's a good way to know how to protect yourself." he explained, not adding that he'd needed to learn how to properly block his fathers drunken swings.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded. He could tell there was something else there, with how John's gaze went far past him for a moment, but he decided not to comment on it. At least not for now. He didn't want to scare him off, after all. "That's great. Bet you're great at it." He smiled, and for once he felt himself actually relaxing around the blonde. Sure, he wasn't used to all of this, but John was /nice/. He really did make him feel special. "Maybe I'll come watch you box sometime."

You: John smiled and nodded, "Really? I'd like that." he placed his to-go container on the coffee table in front of him. "That was really good. Way better than the Chinese place I have near my flat." he smiled, satisfied and full without stuffing himself. John looked around, "Where's your loo?" he asked

Stranger: "Ah, down the hall. First door on your right." He said, motioning towards the hall that led to his bedroom. It was a tiny flat, it was, but it did him fine. It worked for his camming, and when he was able to do classes, it worked for studying, which was all he really needed.

You: John nodded and stood up, he needed a quick bathroom break. He washed his hands once he was done and stared at himself in the mirror, anxiously fixing his hair and trying to calm himself. He could do this, he'd fantasized about Sherlock for so long and now it was truly happening. He could not fuck this up. He came back out and smiled, "Thanks for dinner, Sherlock." he hummed

Stranger: Sherlock made himself anxious all over again when John disappeared inside of his bathroom. He was doing fine, this was fine, and if John wanted sex, he knew how to do that. He just hoped that the man would like whatever they did. He wanted things to be good between them. He stood when John came back into the living room, nodding quickly. "Yeah, of course. Sorry about the rambling and everything, I just get a bit nervous, sometimes." He admitted with a shrug. "You're not leaving already, are you?"

You: John shook his head, "Course not-not unless you're kicking me out." he joked. He came over and stood in front of Sherlock, taking the other's hand softly. "Don't be sorry. You're cute...and not the only one nervous." he assured him. "Honestly I nearly puked on the way over here." he admitted, cracking a smile as he did so.

Stranger: Sherlock couldn't help but chuckle at the idea of John being that nervous, shaking his head as he stepped just a little closer to John. "Well, I'm glad I'm not alone, but you don't need to be nervous. I'm not nearly as intimidating as I seem to be online." He teased, moving to press a kiss to the older man's cheek. He didn't want to push things too far and scare John off, but he had been telling the truth earlier, he'd been thinking of John for a long time.

You: John smiled at the kiss on his cheek, Sherlock was certiantly very different than the man he'd met online. Will said and did very dirty things with so much confidence that he commanded attention. He was in his element and it was intrancing. -But Sherlock. Sherlock was nervous and more than the act he put on for his show. John had convinced himself that Sherlock had said all those nice things because he had to, but he was quickly realizing that he was something to Sherlock and he never felt so important. He smiled, "Do you want to go grab drinks? I..know I'm a client and all..but I didn't come over just to have sex and leave." he explained. "I know..our meeting was based on your body and..sex but that's not the only thing you are to me. I hope you know that."

Stranger: Drinks. John wanted to get drinks. Maybe that would help Sherlock to not be so nervous, maybe it'd make the Will in him come out more. "I know, John. I do. You wouldn't have brought over flowers if all I was to you was sex." He teased, but there was sincerity there. John was so, so kind, he truly didn't know how to show him how much he appreciated the kindness. "I think drinks is a wonderful idea, though."

You: John smiled softly, he wasn't entirely sure what he was to Sherlock. He'd assured him that he was special but what did that mean? Did Sherlock want more than sex...? What was the brunette wanting out of all of this? John didn't dare ask, afraid of the answer. He nodded, smiling as Sherlock agreed to drinks, "Get your coat." he hummed.

Stranger: Sherlock didn't have an answer himself as to what he wanted from John. He hadn't been thinking when he'd invited him over, he'd just done it, and now... well, he had feelings for the blonde, that much he knew. Anything past that... it was all foreign to him. He hadn't dated since Victor, and that hadn't turned out well, he'd used drugs, and he was still recovering from that, but John was so kind, and nice, and he did want /something/ more than a professional relationship with him. At the direction, he nodded, going into his bedroom for a moment and coming out with his coat on, and shoes as well. "Alright. There's a pub not far from here, we can head there?" He offered, following John to his front door.

You: "Sounds good to me, lead the way." he smiled. As they walked John wanted to take Sherlock's hand. He had a lump in his throat just thinking about it. Usually, he was so forward, especially with women. He'd dated and slept with many women-nothing ever lasting very long but he was known as some kind of ladies man. Yet with Sherlock he felt..so nervous. Like he was a kid again. He finally got the courage to reach for Sherlock's hand. Mentally preparing himself for Sherlock to drop it just as quickly.

Stranger: Sherlock looked down when John took a hold of his hand, his cheeks burning as he smiled. That was... nice. He couldn't remember the last time someone had just held his hand, but it felt nice. John's hands were bigger than his own, and a bit rougher, but warm, and nice. He smiled up at John, keeping a hold of his hand as he led the way to the pub. Once they got there, he opened the door for the both of them, keeping a hold of his hand as they walked straight up to the bar. "What do you like to drink, then?"

You: John felt a wave of relief wash over him when Sherlock kept their hands linked together. This was a big step for him, holding another blokes hand in public. He'd slowly been coming to terms with his bisexuality and was proud to hold Sherlock's hand in public. He looked over everything before he shrugged and ordered a beer to start. "What's your drink of choice?" he asked

Stranger: He should have figured John was a beer guy. He turned towards the bar, looking over everything before he ordered himself a cocktail. Something fruity, with about six different kinds of alcohol. He had never been a beer fan. "Anything with vodka is typically what I go for." He laughed, looking down when he realized their hands were still linked together, between the bar stools.

You: John got out his card to pay for the first round of drinks, he turned to look at Sherlock, "You want to sit at the bar or grab a booth?" he asked, letting go of the others hand only to sign the receipt. He thanked the bar tender as he was handed their drinks and handed Sherlock his. "I usually start with a beer or two..then maybe get a jack n coke." he explained.

Stranger: "Booth would probably be better. Not as loud." Sherlock nodded, taking the cocktail from John's hand and looking around. "Jack and cokes are nice. I typically drink with the plan to get drunk, if I'm honest, so I'm used to things that work fast." He laughed, taking a hold of John's hand again and leading him towards a booth near the wall of the bar. It was quieter over here, and he did in fact want to hear what John had to say. "Not to say I plan on getting drunk or anything, I don't, I just mean like, in general, you know? I wouldn't come out with you just to get wasted, I swear." Oh, god, he was definitely rambling again. He shut himself up with a drink of his cocktail as they each took a seat, hoping that the alcohol would at least make him less nervous.

You: John smiled when Sherlock took his hand again and lead him to a booth with some privacy. He smiled as he heard Sherlock ramble again, he just smiled and slid in the booth beside him. "You're really cute, you know that." he smiled. He thought he was going to be the one fumbling to keep up with Sherlock. "I know what you meant" he assured him, giving him a playful wink. "I think the last time I got..truly drunk was probably 2 years ago." he chuckled, "I don't really drink often." he explained, with his father and sisters history he'd always sort of had a fear of becoming an alcholic.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded, glad that John understood, though his cheeks did burn a little when John called him cute. "That's sweet of you." He smiled, taking another drink of his cocktail before he forced himself to relax, leaning against John's side once they were both sat down. "I don't get drunk as often as I made it sound, but when I do get a chance to do classes, the few friends I have usually want to get cocktails after. It can be nice."

You: John smiled when Sherlock leaned against him. He brushed their knees together, "It's good to destress now and then. I'm taking Microbiology right now and..God that class definitely makes you want to have a few." he joked. He sipped his beer before setting it down. "When you do take classes, what are you going for?" he asked.

Stranger: Sherlock laughed at that, his hand moving to rest on the other man's thigh as he allowed himself to relax. This was nice, wasn't it? Being on a date, at a pub, just having /fun/. It was good. "Forensics, actually. I'd like to be a detective." He shrugged, tracing patterns onto John's jeans to distract himself. "They're interesting classes, even if I do already know most of the material."

You: "A detective? Wow...that does sound interesting. You're really bright." he smiled, he could tell Sherlock was relaxing a bit more and he was glad the other felt comfortable enough to be himself. "What kind of forensics..I know there are different kinds like financial forensics and stuff like that but when I think of forensics I think of homicides."

Stranger: Sherlock was quick to nod, trying to ignore the blush that just would /not/ go away. He wasn't used to compliments that didn't come through a screen, and it was hard, to accept them. "Homicides is exactly it, yeah. Well, that's what I want to do, anyway. They're fascinating. Not like. Not like I think the killers are fascinating, though I kind of do, with wanting to know why they did it and all, and how, but I'm not like. Obsessed." He took another drink to silence himself, shaking his head at himself. He needed to stop with the rambling before he embarassed himself.

You: John smiled, he could tell Sherlock was passionate about this. "I understand. I watch the crime shows too, don't worry. It is interesting..hearing how they solve the cases and I've even watched some documentaries about serial killers. It's fascinating hearing those people explain themselves." he looked Sherlock over. "That will be an interesting job." he hummed.

Stranger: Sherlock nodded, looking up in time to see John look him over. Oh, that felt... nice, honestly. To have someone interested in him, and not just through the computer. "I think so. Think Scotland yard could use someone who actually knows what they're doing. Have you seen some of their detectives? Bloody idiots." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I tried to sneak into a case once, it was a double homicide and it was fascinating. They pushed me out before I could even get a good look, though."

You: John chuckled, "You've got to be careful, they'll think you're the one who did and you're trying to get a second look at your work." he joked. He squeezed the others hand, "Don't worry, you're young. You've got plenty of time to get through school then you'll get to see plenty of double homicides." he chuckled. (do you continue rps? I absolutely LOVE this. But its already 3 in the morning for me )

Stranger: [We can try but i'm absolutely TERRIBLE at remembering to respond to emails, and that's the only place I continue them]

You: (my heart ;(. Well it's up to you! I'd hate to see this die but I am very active on email and respond quickly! )